Picture Perfect Page 15

  “Really?”

  “Sure. Being married can be real nice if you pick someone who has the same values as you and if you find someone you can form a kind of partnership with.”

  A smile crept across her face and her eyes lit up. A second later, she turned and ran from the room. He must have said the right thing—she didn’t look upset at all.

  Whistling, he picked up the pliers and returned to his task.

  THE NEXT MORNING, Abby had driven almost the fifty miles to Clam Beach before she felt better. For the second night in a row she hadn’t slept well. But with the car radio turned up for Erin and Michael and the windows open so she could feel the wind on her face and in her hair, fatigue eventually began to recede.

  The task of finding a bookstore couldn’t have come at a better time. She wanted to help both kids pick out a couple of books, and she’d promised Michael they’d find a sporting-goods store. They’d pick someplace along the way to have lunch and do a little sight-seeing before they headed home. With luck, she’d be able to stay out of Pine Cove all day. She wouldn’t, under any circumstances, put herself in Kurt Morgan’s path.

  After last night, she realized how close she was to letting him kiss her again. She’d wanted him to kiss her. She hadn’t cared about the kids, Rachel, or the danger they all faced.

  At the memory of her eager response, embarrassment flooded back. Since Steven had left, she’d taken pride in her ability to restrain her reactions to the men she dated, but she had to struggle every time Kurt came near.

  Gripping the wheel, she tried to fix her attention on the road. She hated the way Kurt made her feel, the way her resolve weakened whenever he was around.

  She couldn’t run from him—not without leaving Pine Cove. And she couldn’t leave. She had to stay where the family could contact her. She only hoped the end of her stay would come soon and she could go back home. But her heart still ached whenever she thought of leaving Kurt behind.

  Well, today, she would put him completely out of her mind. The clerk at the FoodWay had given her directions to the mall in Clam Beach where most of the Pine Cove folks did their shopping. And with the spectacular scenery along the Gorge, the drive had been refreshing. Erin and Michael seemed to be enjoying themselves, too.

  When they reached the mall, Abby found a parking place with ease. “We’ll find the bookstore first, okay, Michael?” Abby said as they walked toward the entrance. “Then the sporting-goods store.”

  Michael shrugged. “I don’t care. As long as I get my new glove.”

  “You will. After we get the books. I promised, didn’t I?”

  Michael ran ahead, but Erin lingered and laced her fingers through Abby’s. “I never had any books of my own before. Well, once I did, but my dad ripped it up, so I don’t really count that one.”

  “He ripped up your book?”

  “He didn’t like me to read. He said I looked stupid with my nose in a book all the time.”

  “There’s nothing stupid about reading, Erin. Most really smart people like to read.”

  “He didn’t read.”

  Though that proved Abby’s point, she refrained from saying so. She hated Vic Harrison with every ounce of her being, but she refused to criticize him in front of the children, no matter how great the temptation. She had no desire to protect his reputation in their eyes, but as they grew older and realized they’d inherited some of his traits, she didn’t want them to remember things she’d said and begin to doubt themselves.

  She squeezed Erin’s hand. “If you like to read, you should do it. Don’t worry about what anyone else says.”

  “I do like to.”

  “Of course you do. You’re my niece, aren’t you? All the Drakes like to read. Did you know that when your mom and I were young, we spent every Saturday at the library? We read all the time.”

  “My mom used to read?”

  Abby faltered and nearly missed her next step. “She doesn’t now?”

  “I don’t think so. My dad hates it. I don’t remember ever seeing her have a book.”

  Abby couldn’t imagine Rachel without a book in her hand. As young girls, they’d left books piled everywhere—under their beds, beside the bathtub, on the kitchen table. If anything, Rachel had been a more avid reader than Abby.

  Gripping Erin’s hand tighter, Abby increased her pace. The next time she saw Rachel, she’d give her an entire bag of books. And insist she read every last one of them.

  No matter how often she heard about it, Abby couldn’t get used to women giving up parts of themselves in the name of love. It happened every day and she’d seen it often, but she didn’t like it.

  Women did it because they thought they were protecting themselves, but the security never lasted. With an abusive partner, any behavior was grounds for brutality. Giving in gained nothing in the long run, but women imprisoned in those relationships could rarely understand that logic, and little by little they allowed themselves to be whittled down to nothing. Abby had always vowed to find a way to stop the abuse, but she never had.

  Now she’d learned that her own sister had given up the thing she loved most, rather than suffer abuse because of it. And her daughter had done the same thing. Unless the cycle was broken with Erin, she’d wind up in a marriage like her mother’s. She’d grow up believing she had to sacrifice herself for her husband, thinking she deserved nothing better than her mother had.

  For the hundredth time that morning, Abby thought of Kurt. Would he demand such sacrifices of his wife? Had he demanded those things of Laura? Though Theresa had told Abby about Kurt’s decision to move to Pine Cove against Laura’s wishes, she had a hard time reconciling the image of a domineering Kurt with the one she’d formed on her own.

  She remained silent until they reached the bookstore. Leaving Michael and Erin to browse the children’s books but keeping an eye on them, Abby moved into the mystery section. She took her time selecting three new paperbacks and then returned to the kids. Michael was looking decidedly restless.

  “Can we go now?” he asked, waving the two books he’d picked.

  “In just a minute. Be patient a little longer.” Abby moved to Erin’s side. “Having trouble deciding?”

  Erin had yet to make a choice. She nodded and lifted one finger to trace the spine of a book. “There are too many to choose from.”

  “You don’t have to pick out just one.”

  Erin tried to smile, and the sadness in her eyes twisted Abby’s heart. Hugging Erin to her, Abby fought to control her expression.

  Erin snuggled closer, returning Abby’s embrace. “Why doesn’t my dad love me?”

  How was Abby supposed to answer that? What could she say that wouldn’t make Erin feel worse? As hard as she’d tried, Abby couldn’t understand how Vic could treat his children the way he did. But before she was able to frame a response, Erin spoke again.

  “Kurt wouldn’t ever hurt Brody, would he?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Why don’t you marry him, Abby?” Michael put in. “And have lots of babies so we can have some cousins. And Brody can be our cousin and we can stay here forever.”

  If only things were that simple. If only she could fulfill that dream. But though her heart ached for children of her own, she’d never have them, and though the thought of Kurt filled her mind all the time, too many obstacles stood in the way of a successful relationship.

  Still, the memory of dancing in Kurt’s arms and of his kisses overwhelmed her. Closing her eyes, she felt again his warmth, his strength.

  And for just a few seconds, she let herself dream of a future she knew could never be.

  “WE’VE ONLY GOT a week before the pageant,” Doug Pierce announced to the crew of volunteers and recruits on the scenery committee, “and none of us can work on this full-time. I don’t think we’re going to make it, but quite frankly, I don’t intend to tell my wife that.”

  Several of the men chuckled and Kurt let his gaze wander to Merilee Pier
ce, deep in conversation with Theresa across the room. At only five-three, she could fit neatly under Doug’s arm when he extended it, but she gave him a run for his money. And he worshiped the ground she walked on. Everyone in Pine Cove knew it.

  Doug held up one beefy hand to silence the group. “Jack and Bill have agreed to help us out. I want all the rest of you to get on the horn and line up a few more volunteers. I don’t care what this scenery looks like, as long as there’s something in back of the kids on the Fourth when they start marching around. Jack, you and Kurt start on the Old North Bridge. Bill, you still got that lantern they used last year?”

  While Doug handed out the rest of the assignments, Kurt and Jack headed toward the pile of lumber that would eventually look and act like a bridge—at least long enough for ten enthusiastic soldiers to march over it countless times during the next seven days.

  But before they reached the corner, Bill Franklin called after them. “Kurt? Got a second?”

  A little uneasy, Kurt turned to face him and shrugged. “Sure.”

  Jack took a few steps away and Bill approached, head lowered, hands in his pockets. “I heard you’re representing Naomi in the divorce.”

  Kurt tensed, but kept his tone light. “Yeah, I am.”

  Bill looked up. “This isn’t what I want, you know.”

  “Look, Bill, I can’t talk about it with you. As her attorney—”

  Bill raised his hands and took a step back. “I understand. I just wanted you to know there’s no hard feelings.” He extended his hand and Kurt shook it.

  “I’m glad to hear it.”

  “I’m only sorry she got to you first. I’d have liked to have you on my side.”

  Kurt met Bill’s eyes, saw the haze of emotion there and felt his throat tighten in sympathy.

  “I’m not going to let her take Jason without a fight,” Bill said, and looked out over the room. “I don’t want to lose her, but I won’t lose my boy.”

  Kurt wondered how he would’ve felt if Laura had ever presented such a threat to him. He’d have reacted much the same way. But though he could understand, even share Bill’s feelings, he couldn’t help him. If Naomi wanted to fight for custody, he’d have to devote his energy to winning it for her.

  Bill might have no hard feelings now, but Kurt doubted they’d come out of court with their friendship intact, and for a moment he hated the career he’d chosen.

  “You guys going to spend the whole day yakking or are you going to build that bridge?” Doug shouted from the other side of the room.

  With a halfhearted grin, Bill turned on his heel. “Keep your shirt on, Pierce.”

  Kurt watched his friend jog across the room to rejoin the others. At least he’d put the bottle aside for today. If Bill stayed sober, the divorce would be much easier on all of them. Then again, if Bill stayed sober, there wouldn’t have to be a divorce.

  He started back toward Jack, half expecting some joke about Doug being afraid of Merilee or a comment about Bill and Naomi. He got neither. Instead, Jack walked beside him in silence, as if he had something on his mind.

  Kurt battled a vague feeling of uneasiness. “So what do you think? Two-by-fours for the frame?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

  Jack stopped and faced him. “Theresa told me what’s going on with you and Abby.”

  “Nothing’s going on with me and Abby.” Nothing he’d admit to.

  Waving Kurt’s objection away, Jack propped his foot on the pile of boards. “After thirty-four years, I know how your mind works. She’s a beautiful woman, I’m not denying that. But are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

  Abandoning all pretense, Kurt let his shoulders sag. “No.”

  “Has anything happened?”

  “Not really.”

  “Well, thank God for that. Look, Theresa and I only care about this because we know how you are. We saw what you went through with Laura.” Jack kicked at the top board and shrugged. “If you let yourself do this—”

  “I’m not letting myself do anything, Jack. That’s the point. I’m going crazy. I can’t seem to think of anything else. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face. Sometimes I think if I just let myself go to her, I’d stop feeling so obsessed.”

  Jack’s frown deepened. “It’s serious, then?”

  “Who knows?” Kurt laughed shortly. “I’m not even sure what I feel about her, much less how she feels about me.”

  “Have you talked to her?”

  “About how I feel? How can I when I don’t even know myself? Besides, she’s got her own problems to deal with.”

  “Are you in love with her?”

  “No!” The word exploded from Kurt’s mouth before he’d even thought about his response. Of all the possible outcomes of this nightmare, he could not allow that one. To fall in love with a married woman? Never.

  He’d never fallen in love easily. Looking back on his marriage now, he didn’t think he’d ever really loved Laura. He’d wanted to be in love, Laura had seemed perfect, and the timing had been right. When several of his friends at Willamette had pushed them together, he’d fallen into the relationship. But he hadn’t fallen in love.

  He knew enough about himself now to realize that if he ever did fall in love, it would be forever. And it would not be with a married woman. He didn’t want a clandestine affair he could never share, never talk about, never admit to. He wanted to tell everyone how he felt. And every time his feelings for Abby tried to assert themselves and every time he had to hide them away, he felt miserable. As if he was cheapening something precious.

  Jack patted his shoulder and smiled. “So what can I do to help?”

  “Decide whether you want to use the two-by-fours for the frame.”

  “I’m not talking about that.”

  Kurt hefted a plank to his shoulder and met his brother’s gaze squarely. “It’s the only thing you can do anything about.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  ABBY PULLED into the FoodWay parking lot and glanced nervously at her watch. She’d easily avoided Kurt the past four days by making sure she’d finished with the costuming committee at the school and returned home before he left his office at five o’clock. But today she’d lost track of time and stayed at the school longer than she’d planned. She needed to get some groceries, and she knew he usually stopped at the FoodWay on his way home from work. Still, if she and the kids hurried, they could avoid him.

  She slid out from behind the wheel and started toward the store, urging Erin and Michael to hurry. But they walked slowly, comparing notes about the day’s practice, immune to her sense of urgency.

  Keeping an eye on the door for Kurt, Abby shopped quickly. When she reached the meat counter, she studied the whole fryers as Michael tugged at the hem of her shirt.

  “Can I have five dollars?” he asked.

  “Why?”

  “I want to play the video games. Please?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Please?”

  “No, Michael. Not today.”

  “If I got an allowance, I’d use my own money. But since I don’t…”

  “Allowance?”

  Michael sent his most winning smile up at her. “Kurt says that’s the best way to teach kids how to take care of money.”

  “Is that right?”

  Michael nodded and tried to look innocent, but it didn’t work. Abby recognized manipulation no matter what size package it came in.

  “And just how much allowance does Kurt believe is fair?”

  Michael beamed. “Five dollars.”

  “A month?”

  “A week.”

  “Every other week.”

  “Mom—”

  “Take it or leave it, kiddo. I’m through negotiating.” Abby reached into her purse for her wallet.

  When she couldn’t find it immediately, she removed the bag from her shoulder. Placing it in the cart, she searched again. Slow panic began to grow outward from the pit of her stomach. Not o
nly did the wallet contain more than a hundred dollars, but it held her identification—her true identification—and she couldn’t risk that falling into someone’s hands.

  Erin looked up from a book she’d plucked off the rack as they came in. “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t find my wallet.” Abby shook her purse and peered into its depths again as if it might suddenly appear.

  If anyone found her driver’s license in the name of Abby Drake, she’d have to field questions she couldn’t afford to answer.

  Erin looked at her feet and scuffed one toe along the floor. “Um…”

  Abby stopped searching. Erin’s hesitation was almost as good as a confession. “What?”

  “Well, your purse fell on the floor in the backseat when we left the school. I tried to pick everything back up—”

  “Then it must be in the car.” Relieved, she handed the keys to Erin. “Will you run out and see if you can find it please?”

  Erin nodded and headed toward the automatic doors. Relaxing slightly, Abby checked her watch and picked up the recipe she’d torn out of Ladies Home Journal, studying the list of ingredients. Even if Kurt came shopping today after work, she could still be out of here before he arrived.

  KURT SWITCHED OFF the ignition and opened the door. With a silent groan, he surveyed the parking lot. He’d managed to get away from the office a few minutes early and he wanted to quickly pick up a few things for dinner, but the number of cars parked outside the FoodWay told him he was in for a long wait.

  He fingered the message slip he’d tucked into his pocket on the way out the door. Tony Graham had called in to give a routine report, but Kurt wasn’t ready to phone him back. He told himself he needed to call from the privacy of home, but in truth he didn’t know whether he wanted to hear what Tony Graham had to say. He probably wouldn’t phone Tony for a day or two—if ever.

  As he hesitated, the automatic doors opened and Erin jogged into the parking lot. Seeing her and realizing Abby must be here somewhere, Kurt decided he needed the groceries desperately.