High Mountain Home Read online

  Color flushed his cheeks and an embarrassed smile curved his lips. “Okay, so you’re well-rounded in other areas, as well. I didn’t mean to offend. That was completely uncalled-for. But you’re an attractive woman, Siddah. And even more attractive when you smile.”

  Her breath caught and she felt her own cheeks grow warm. Maybe she shouldn’t feel that slow coil of pleasure, but it had been a long time since she’d flirted with anyone. A long, long time since she’d felt like a woman. “It’s all right,” she said, and gave in to the urge to touch his arm. The feel of sun-warmed skin and bristly hair scorched her fingertips, but she didn’t draw away. “I’m not that easily offended.”

  As if she was waking after a long sleep, she could feel parts of herself coming back to life. A tingle here, the sharp pinprick of pain there. Deep inside, guilt threatened to ruin the moment, but was it really wrong to move on with her life? To crave the attention of a man again and ache for the feel of someone’s arms around her?

  No. She knew it wasn’t. But was it wrong to be drawn to this man?

  When Gabe didn’t speak, she decided to break the tension. “I told Bobby that you’d be watching him after school tomorrow. He’s thrilled, of course. I hope you’re prepared to spend some time playing video games. We don’t have hiking trails and secret fishing holes in our backyard.”

  Gabe started walking slowly. “I’m sure we’ll find plenty to do.”

  “You’re really good with him, you know. Your mother was right.”

  “And you’re surprised?”

  “A little, maybe. But I don’t know why I should be. Peter was a natural father, so it shouldn’t surprise me that you are, too.” She realized what she had said and blushed furiously. “Good with kids, I mean.”

  Gabe laughed and the sound warmed her clear through. “So we’re even. One mortifying slip apiece. Does that mean we can start over?”

  “I certainly hope so.”

  He stopped walking so suddenly she stumbled a little. His hand shot out to steady her, and a finger of heat traced up her arm. “I’m glad,” he said, his voice low and almost intimate. “I’d like that.”

  There had been many different emotions racing between them since the day they met, but through every one they’d always been honest. She had to be honest with him now. “So would I.”

  His eyes locked on hers, and what she saw there sent excitement and anticipation skittering up her spine. Did he want to kiss her? Yes, she thought he did. Did she want him to? She’d be lying if she said no. But was she ready?

  His eyes roamed her face, taking in every detail as eagerly as she studied him. He must have sensed her hesitation, because he stepped away and they started walking again.

  After a few minutes, he nodded toward a hill, barely visible through the trees. “See that? When I was a kid, that’s where I planned to build my house someday.”

  Siddah smiled softly. “It’s a beautiful spot. I can see why you’d choose it.”

  “You should see the view from up there. It’s magnificent.” He grinned and kicked a rock from the path. “Had it all planned out in my head back then. Four bedrooms upstairs. A bright, sunny kitchen down. A wraparound porch so I could see the view from every angle.”

  “And rocking chairs?”

  “Absolutely. A porch without rocking chairs would be a crime.”

  She was suddenly vividly aware of the feel of her blouse against her skin, of the rush of blood through her veins and the whisper of the breeze against her cheek. It took effort to force simple words out of her throat. “So why don’t you build it?”

  He shrugged as they rounded a curve in the path and the hillside disappeared from view. “One person rattling around in a house that big? It would be a little lonely, don’t you think?”

  Was that regret in his voice? Longing? She couldn’t tell. “I suppose you’re right,” she said. “But it’s a shame.”

  He moved ahead on the trail to sweep the branches of a huckleberry bush out of her way. She walked on as if nothing had happened between them, but she knew she’d just turned a corner.

  From this night on, her life would be completely different. She would always love Peter, but it was time to let him go. To move on, as so many people had been urging her to do.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  AT A LITTLE BEFORE EIGHT the next evening, Siddah pulled into the driveway of her small house and turned off the engine. Dusk was just beginning to settle over the valley, and long shadows stretched across the patio and onto the porch. On any other night, she’d kick off her shoes and race inside to get comfortable. But not tonight.

  Tonight, Gabe was in there with Bobby, waiting for her to come home, filling her house with his energy, turning her life upside down and leading her relentlessly toward the future. She just couldn’t afford to forget that it was a future he wouldn’t be sharing with her.

  Pocketing her keys, she crossed the driveway and let herself into the kitchen. Before she could call out to let Bobby know she was home, the sound of excited voices caught her attention. A second later, the lawn mower roared to life, drowning them out.

  Siddah tossed her purse and keys onto the table and hurried through the house toward the back door. She found Gabe standing at the base of the steps, watching as Bobby pushed the mower along a stretch of lawn. Grass clippings and lawn tools lay piled in front of the garage door. Two long grass stains adorned Bobby’s jeans, but her son beamed with pride at his accomplishment.

  Gabe watched him like a hawk, shouting directions now and then, adding encouragement at a job well-done. Moments like this were precisely why Helene had suggested that he get to know Bobby. Her son needed this, and she wouldn’t dream of taking it from him, but she battled a quick flare of jealousy as Bobby looked to Gabe for approval.

  Telling herself to grow up, she kicked off her shoes, pasted on the brightest smile she could manage and stepped onto the back porch. Gabe motioned for Bobby to do another row and climbed the steps to stand beside her. “You’re home early,” he shouted over the racket. “We were hoping to be finished before you got here.”

  “You didn’t need to do all of this,” she protested. “I usually cut the lawn on Saturdays.”

  “That’s what Bobby tells me, but I also know that you missed this week. That was my fault, I’m afraid.”

  Siddah didn’t have the energy to argue with him, and a rebellious part of her whispered that she should be grateful for the help. It meant she didn’t have to break her back fighting with the mower after a twelve-hour day at the office. She sat on the top step as Bobby negotiated another turn. “How did the day go? Are you having second thoughts yet?”

  Gabe laughed and shook his head. “Not yet. Bobby’s not half the trouble Peter and I were at that age.”

  She wondered if Bobby would be different if she’d been able to give him a brother or a sister. “Is that good?”

  “You’d have to ask my mother about that.”

  “I already know what her answer would be.” Siddah worked her shoulders to get rid of the knots of tension she’d brought home from the office. “I’ve heard a few stories over the years.”

  “I’m afraid to ask which ones.”

  “That’s probably smart. From what I hear, the two of you didn’t make her life easy.”

  “We were boys,” he said with a shrug. “What can I say?”

  Siddah laughed and stretched her legs out in front of her, tilting her face to the fading sun. “I should probably get inside and fix dinner, but this feels so good.”

  “It’s already past seven-thirty,” Gabe said. “Isn’t it a little late to start cooking?”

  “Not when you have a ten-year-old who’s been doing yard work all afternoon. I’d be fine with a glass of milk and a piece of bread, but I’m sure that Bobby will feel differently.”

  Beside her on the step, Gabe leaned back on his elbows. “I have to eat before I head over to the mill. Why don’t the two of you join me?”

  “You want u
s to have supper with you?”

  “Sure. What do you say to pizza? My treat.”

  “Offer Bobby pizza and he’ll think you’re some kind of god.”

  “What about you?”

  “Will I think you’re some kind of god?” She swallowed and shook her head. “I’m not sure I’d go that far, but this will definitely move you up a notch or two on my good list.”

  “You have a ‘good list’?”

  With a grin, she reached for the railing and pulled herself to her feet again. “Doesn’t everybody?” Without giving him a chance to answer, she opened the back door and stepped inside. “I’m going to change out of these work clothes. I should be ready by the time you and Bobby are finished out here.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  As Gabe strode toward the jumble of tools near the garage, Siddah indulged herself for a minute and watched him. His long legs chewed up the distance easily, his broad shoulders swayed as he walked. He shouted something to Bobby, but the words were swallowed up by the roar of the lawn mower.

  Smiling, Siddah turned away and closed the door. It felt good to have a man around again.

  Maybe too good.

  GABE KNEW he’d made a mistake the second he set foot inside the pizza parlor. He’d followed Siddah and Bobby in his Jeep, giving them time to talk, giving Siddah a chance to find out about Bobby’s first day in school. The short break had also given him a chance to figure out what the hell he was doing.

  Granted, they all needed to eat. And Siddah had been working all day. And eight o’clock in the evening was no time to start fixing a home-cooked meal. But dinner? Together?

  He must be crazy.

  Holding the door for Siddah felt just a little too familiar. Standing together while they waited on a table for three felt strange. Worse than strange. Like he was stepping on his brother’s toes. Moving in on Peter’s territory.

  He blamed Carlos. If he hadn’t put the idea in his mind, Gabe wouldn’t have given any of this a second thought. He wouldn’t have noticed the way Siddah’s eyes gleamed in the dim lighting of the restaurant. Wouldn’t have paid attention to the musky floral scent she wore. Wouldn’t even have thought twice about the way she smiled or the warmth of her laugh while she listened to Bobby chatter about their day.

  Feeling decidedly uncomfortable, Gabe followed a middle-aged hostess toward a booth and tried not to care that people were watching them. While Siddah and Bobby sat on one side, Gabe slid onto the bench across the table and snagged a menu. Not that ordering pepperoni pizza required any great concentration on his part, but he needed a minute to pull himself together and figure out where to go from here.

  He’d never been particularly worried about other people’s opinions, but Carlos’s asinine suggestions had made him paranoid. Would seeing them together put ideas in anyone else’s head? Or was everyone else smart enough to see this for exactly what it was?

  And what was it, anyway? He could deny it all he wanted, but the truth was, he did find Siddah attractive. He enjoyed spending time with her. Liked seeing her smile. She was the first woman in a long time who’d held his interest, and no matter how many times he told himself to get a grip on what he was feeling, he wasn’t in control at all.

  He admired her spunk and her fierce quest for independence. Her eyes intrigued him, and he could probably spend a lifetime trying to figure out all the emotions that flickered through them. Her mouth captivated him. When he was with her, kissing her was all he could think about.

  And since last night by the river, he was in worse shape than ever. He wasn’t a child any longer. He knew a few things about women. Siddah had wanted him to kiss her as much as he’d wanted to. He’d stake his life on it.

  But wanting something didn’t make it right.

  He dragged his attention back to the table, the menu, the boy he was starting to care about more than he’d ever thought possible. The next few minutes were consumed with earth-shattering decisions like whether to order extra cheese and convincing Bobby that a second order of garlic bread was unnecessary.

  For the first time in weeks, Gabe felt a part of something larger than himself, and the envy he’d felt at Carlos’s house spiked sharply. Old dreams he’d been pushing aside rose up out of nowhere and threatened to choke him. A home of his own. A family. Children. Roots.

  A wife…

  With a start, he realized Siddah was watching him and tried to wipe away any longing or regret from his expression.

  “Why so glum?” she asked.

  “Do I look upset?”

  “A little. Is something wrong?”

  He couldn’t very well tell her the truth, so he shook his head and told a little white lie. “It’s just been a while since I went out for pizza. I’m not used to this.”

  “It’s been a while for us, too,” she said, her smile fading slightly. “The last time we were here was Bobby’s eighth birthday.” She found some energy for her smile and turned it on her son. “Remember that, Bobby?”

  “Yep. Dad and I played on the pinball machine for, like, two hours.”

  “I don’t think it was quite that long,” Siddah said with a laugh, “but you were over there for a while.” Looking back at Gabe, she explained, “Peter and Bobby loved their video games. It didn’t matter where we went, the two of them were always at it.”

  And Gabe knew Bobby missed that. “I already warned you that I’m no good at video games,” he said, “but pinball I can play. What do you say? Want to challenge me to a game?”

  Bobby lunged forward eagerly. “Now?”

  “Or after we eat.”

  “We could play now. Then we’ll be through when the pizza comes.”

  No man with a heart could resist the eagerness on that small face. Gabe checked with Siddah. “Do you mind?”

  “Of course not,” she said, waving them away. “That’s what you’re here for.”

  “Are you going to join us?”

  “Me? Oh heavens no. I don’t play pinball.”

  It seemed wrong to leave her sitting alone in a booth crowded with memories. “Is that because you don’t like it, or because you don’t know how?”

  “I know how. I just don’t know how to do it well.”

  “I could teach you.”

  She laughed uncomfortably. “Peter tried. I’m not a very quick study.”

  “Peter was good,” Gabe admitted, trying to keep the moment light, “but I’m better. Who do you think taught him?”

  Siddah ran a slow, assessing glance across his face, and he wondered if he’d said the wrong thing. But after a long moment her lips curved into a smile and a sparkle danced in her eyes. “You really think you can teach me?”

  He liked making her smile, far more than he should. But after everything she’d been through, didn’t she deserve it? “I’d almost bet money on it,” he said. “Besides, what else are you going to do while we’re over there? Read the menu?”

  She looked toward Bobby again, still obviously uncertain. “Is it okay with you?”

  Bobby lifted one shoulder as if the question surprised him. “Sure. Why not?”

  “It’s just that this was your thing with Dad. I don’t want to intrude.”

  Gabe slid from the booth and held out a hand toward her. “You’re not intruding,” he said firmly. “We both want you there.”

  Siddah hesitated, then touched his hand with her fingertips as she stood. There’d been many times in his life when Gabe had envied Peter, but this…well, this was the worst. What kind of man was he to envy his brother’s wife and son?

  Struggling to keep his expression neutral, he motioned Siddah and Bobby toward the pinball machine on the other side of the restaurant. But he found himself watching the gentle sway of her hips as she walked and he knew he was in bigger trouble than he’d thought.

  She was family, he told himself firmly. His brother’s wife. Absolutely off-limits. But no matter what his mind said, his instincts were telling him something else entirely.
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  He’d never seen her with Peter. Never had a chance to watch them together. He’d never witnessed them in love. Never seen them kiss. There wasn’t even a child to show for their years together. Nothing except a few stories that felt more like fairy tales than reality.

  But it was reality, and Gabe would be smart to remember that. No matter how hard it was.

  HOLDING THE COFFEE TABLE aloft with one hand, Gabe slid the other toward Bobby. He’d been hanging around Siddah’s house for a couple of weeks already, and it seemed that everywhere he looked, something else needed attention. “Looks like I’m going to need the Phillips screwdriver. Remember which one that is?”

  “The one with the star on the tip, right?”

  “That’s the one. How about you hand it to me, then slide on under here so you can help me with this?”

  Bobby slapped the tool into his hand and squiggled under the table, his little face awash with excitement. It would have been easier to tighten the table leg without him, but Bobby was so eager to help, so hungry to be included, Gabe couldn’t leave him on the sidelines.

  He jerked his head toward the loose screw. “That’s the one. Think you’re strong enough to get it back in there?”

  “I think so.”

  “Okay then.” Gabe moved over to give him elbow room. “Show me what you’ve got.”

  “I’m pretty good at some stuff. Dad said I was a natural.”

  “Well, if anybody would know about that, your dad was the guy.” Gabe watched as Bobby fumbled with the screw, got it into place, and finally, grunting with each turn, got it slowly turning into the wood. His little arms bulged with the effort and his face was screwed up in concentration.

  Not for the first time, tender warmth spread through Gabe. This boy might not have been the son of Peter’s body, but he was for damn sure the child of his heart. No wonder his mother had been so eager for Gabe to step in. No wonder the old man thought the sun rose and set on the kid’s little red head. If Gabe wasn’t careful, he’d get caught, too.

  He inched away, as if putting a few inches of carpet between them might insulate him from the growing affection he felt for the kid. “You do that pretty well,” he admitted. “Want to do the others, too?”