High Mountain Home Page 17

  “Sure!” Bobby turned a snaggletoothed grin in his direction. “I could have fixed this whole thing if Mom didn’t think I was too little.”

  “She’ll get over that. It just takes moms a little while to figure out that their boys are becoming men.”

  Bobby wiped sweat from his nose with his sleeve. “I guess. But she’s gotten all weird since my dad died.”

  She had? Interesting perspective. “How has she gotten weird?”

  “She works all the time, for one thing. I don’t think she likes being home anymore.”

  “She’s trying to get a promotion, you know.”

  “Yeah. But she’s weird in other ways, too. Like she never goes places with her friends anymore.”

  “And she used to?”

  “Her and my dad used to do all sorts of things.” Bobby finished the first screw and they both shifted position so Bobby could tackle the next one. “Maybe you should go out with her. She might think it was okay if she didn’t have to do things alone.”

  Gabe coughed uncomfortably. “Just where do you think we should go?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe you could take her to one of her dinners. She hasn’t been in a long time.”

  “What dinners are those?”

  “Progressive dinners. There’s a whole bunch of people who get together to eat. They start at one person’s house for, like, cheese sticks or something and then they go to the next person’s house for salads, and somebody else’s for roast or hot dogs.”

  Gabe bit back a smile. He seriously doubted cheese sticks and hot dogs were on the menu. “And your mom used to go to those?”

  “All the time. You should take her to one.”

  It sounded so simple, but Bobby couldn’t understand all the complications involved. “I’ll think about it,” Gabe said.

  “Really?”

  “Sure.” Sensing an opening, he decided to bring up a subject they hadn’t discussed before. “I’ll think about that if you’ll think about something. Your mom said your football team is having practice today. You want to go check it out?”

  Bobby’s expression went from eager to bland in a heartbeat. He lifted one shoulder in a listless shrug. “Not really.”

  “You don’t like playing football anymore?”

  “It’s okay.”

  “Just okay? I thought you liked it. Grandma and your mom tell me you’re pretty good.”

  “It’s okay,” Bobby said again, “but it’s kind of boring.”

  “All right. No football. What would you like to do instead?”

  “Nothing. Just fix stuff around here. That’s all.”

  “Has to be something else,” Gabe insisted. “You want your mom to get out with her friends, right? Well, she feels the same way about you.”

  “But I’m okay.”

  “She doesn’t think so.”

  “Well, I am.”

  Gabe studied the boy’s stubborn little face and tried a different approach. “I’ll let you finish this table by yourself if you’ll go with me to that football practice.”

  Bobby turned a suspicious eye on him. “Why do you want to go to that?”

  “Why not? We’ve been hanging around here for the past two weeks. I’m in the mood to get out and do something. What do you say?”

  Bobby gave that a moment’s thought and Gabe was positive he’d come up with a great incentive. But it didn’t take Bobby long to hand back the screwdriver and slide out from under the table. “That’s okay,” he said. “You can finish it.”

  “Wait!” That wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Gabe fumbled for the right thing to say. “I thought you wanted to work on the table.”

  Bobby flopped on the couch and reached for the remote. “I changed my mind.”

  “Because I wanted to go to football practice?”

  “Naw. I just don’t feel like doing it anymore, that’s all.” He pressed a button and the television blared.

  But Gabe had his answer. Something was keeping Bobby holed up in this house, and it wasn’t just Peter’s death. There was something else at work here. He just had to find out what.

  ON EDGE AND EXHAUSTED, Siddah let herself into the house at a little before ten o’clock. She’d had a rough day at work and she’d missed another evening with her son. She was going after the promotion to make things better in their lives, but tonight, with her eyes scratchy and tired, her head pounding, and that sick feeling still in the pit of her stomach, she wondered if she was only making things worse.

  Peter would have hated the long hours she worked. They’d both agreed that having her home with Bobby and the other children they’d once dreamed of having was a priority. Even now, with her whole focus on the promotion, she wanted to stay home with her son, to be there when he came in the door at the end of the school day, to see his face when he told about his joys and disappointments.

  The days were passing her by, and someone else was raising her son. Maybe some women could do it all, but Siddah wasn’t one of them. If she gave Bobby the financial security she wanted for him, was she robbing him of something equally important? Even more important?

  Aching with exhaustion, she let herself into the house, tossed her purse and keys onto the table, and dragged herself into the living room, where she found Gabe in Peter’s favorite chair immersed in a mystery novel. He looked up as she entered, and a quick, warm smile lit his face.

  His was the first friendly face she’d seen in hours, and her reaction both surprised and frightened her a little. She couldn’t rush across the room and throw herself into his arms. She shouldn’t even want to. But it had been too long since someone had held her. Too long since she’d been able to lay her worries at someone else’s feet, even for a little while.

  She dropped onto the couch and leaned her head back.

  “You look tired,” Gabe said.

  “Tired isn’t the word for it.” She lifted her head off the couch cushion just enough to see him. “I don’t remember when I’ve had such a long day.”

  Gabe set his book aside. “Want to talk about it?”

  “Yes. No. I’m not sure.” She let out a tight laugh and dropped her head back again. “How’s that for a definitive answer?”

  “Sounds like you need to talk about it.” He stood and moved closer. “I have a few minutes before I need to leave. You might as well take advantage of it. What do you say I grab a couple of Cokes while you make yourself comfortable? Kick off your shoes. Put your feet up.” He grinned and added, “You know the drill.”

  Internal warning bells urged her to be careful, but Siddah was too tired to listen. “Are you sure you have time? Don’t you have to be at the mill by eleven?”

  “Yeah, but it’s only five minutes away, and I’m sure Slim will stay around for a few minutes if I ask him to.”

  Maybe she should send him on his way, but the allure of having someone to talk to, even for just a few minutes, was just too strong. With a grateful smile, she slipped out of her shoes and curled her legs under her. “If you’re sure Monty won’t mind, maybe I’ll take you up on it.”

  Gabe disappeared into the kitchen and returned in a few seconds holding two soda bottles. He uncapped one and handed it to her, then sat on the other end of the couch and turned toward her. “So tell me about your day.”

  He said it so matter-of-factly Siddah couldn’t hold back a smile. “Are you sure you really want to know?”

  “That bad, huh?”

  She shifted on the cushion to face him. “Worse. The day started out bad when the judge’s clerk called to let us know that a pleading I was supposed to have delivered was missing, and it went downhill from there. I’ve just spent the past three hours copying the most boring documents you’ve ever seen in your life.” She toyed with the label on her bottle and smiled sadly. “I’m not sure I can handle these hours. I told them I could do this. I swore that it would be okay, but I hate coming home this late, and I hate not even getting a chance to see Bobby.”

  “You�
�re not this late every night.”

  “No, thank God. But even twice a week is too much.” She ran her fingers through her hair and rested one cheek on the back of the couch. “All I want is to better myself. To create some stability for Bobby and give him what I never had. Is that too much to ask?”

  Gabe shook his head slowly. “I wouldn’t think so.”

  “Then why does it have to be so hard?” When she realized how pathetic she sounded, she laughed and drew her knees up in front of her. “Ignore that. I’m just feeling sorry for myself.”

  “We all do that from time to time.” Gabe set his bottle on the table beside him and rested one arm on the back of the couch. “Life is tough at times, and you’ve had more than your share of hurdles to jump the past few years.”

  “I’m certainly not the only one,” she said, trying to ignore the closeness of his hand and the comfort that seemed to emanate from him. “The thing is, I used to think I was so strong. I thought I could do everything on my own. But I’m not sure I can.”

  “I think you’re doing okay.”

  “I’m not doing even close to okay. I don’t know what we’d do if you weren’t here.”

  “But I am here, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

  For how long, though? That was the question that never seemed to get an answer, and it was the question that ran through her mind too often these days. She wanted to convince herself that she only cared for Bobby’s sake, but it was getting harder and harder to make herself believe any part of that.

  Silence fell between them, as if neither of them knew what to say next. At least, Siddah didn’t have a clue.

  If Gabe was bothered by uncertainty, he got over it quickly. “What about Bobby’s biological father?” he asked. “You never mention him, but could he be of any help?”

  There weren’t many subjects Siddah wanted to talk about less than Cornell Beesley. She pulled back instinctively, but exhaustion and the concern in Gabe’s eyes drew an answer from her. “I can’t ask him. He’s completely out of the picture.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Still back in Arkansas…at least, I think that’s where he is. I haven’t seen or heard from him since the summer I turned eighteen.”

  “High-school boyfriend?”

  “Not exactly.” Maybe she should have let him think so, but they’d always been honest with each other, and she didn’t want him assuming things about her that weren’t true. “I met Cornell a couple of weeks before my high-school graduation,” she said. “He was a few years older, out of school, and working with his uncle for the summer. He noticed me. Asked me out a few times. But I always said no.” She tried to look as if she told the story every day, but she could hear the trembling in her voice, and when the last remnants of Gabe’s smile faded, she knew he’d heard it, too.

  “What happened?”

  “I was living with my aunt Suzette at the time. My mother died when I was twelve, and Suzette took me in. Things were just fine until Suzette got married again.” Her breath caught and her hands grew clammy. Lord, but it was hard to relive that time. Harder than it should have been, considering how many years had passed. She could hear the drawl tugging at her words, but she couldn’t seem to get rid of it.

  Needing something to hang on to, Siddah pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “Long story short, my new uncle took a liking to me. Nothing happened,” she said quickly, “but I wanted out of there before something did. Aunt Suzette was nice enough, but she wasn’t the strongest woman in the world, and she changed a whole lot when Forrest moved in. I didn’t figure she was going to protect me, so I started looking for a way out on my own.”

  “And you chose Cornell?”

  Heat rushed into her face, but she forced herself to nod. “Looking back, I know it was a stupid thing to do, but at the time it seemed like my only option. I didn’t have money. I didn’t have much education. I was a nobody from George’s Creek, and I didn’t figure to ever make anything of myself.”

  He was watching her closely, his eyes filled with something too kind to bear. Only one other person in the world had ever looked at her that way, and she missed it suddenly with an intensity that took her breath away.

  It had been too long since she’d been with someone who cared. At least in the beginning Peter had treasured her. He’d wanted to protect her from everything he considered rough and harsh and negative. He’d cared when she hurt, and there’d even been times when she felt as if she could lay her worries out for him and he’d take them over for a little while.

  But it was so wrong to want Gabe to fill those shoes. It wasn’t fair. Not to Gabe, not to Peter’s memory, not even to herself.

  She dragged her thoughts back to where she was supposed to be. Cornell Beesley. Standing to put some distance between them, she moved toward the window overlooking the backyard. “I thought Cornell loved me.” She smiled ruefully and added, “After all, he said he did. But lesson learned. Some guys will say anything to get what they want.”

  “They’re the ones who give the rest of us a bad name.”

  She managed a thin smile. “I guess that’s probably true. It wasn’t long before I figured out I was pregnant, and Cornell lost interest so fast after that I think he probably set a world record.” She tried to laugh, but the sound caught in her throat. Not that it hurt anymore, but it was just so embarrassing to admit she’d been that naive. “Once Suzette’s husband figured out that I wasn’t a virgin anymore, he got brave. I knew I had to get out of there, so a couple of months after Bobby was born, I gathered up all the money I could and bought a one-way ticket as far as the bus would take us. We landed in Great Falls.”

  Suddenly anxious, she studied Gabe’s reaction. Was he disgusted? Put off by her naiveté? Amused by what a child she’d been? Or worse? Though she’d come a long way since those days, Forrest’s leering suggestions that she was somehow responsible for his interest in her hadn’t entirely faded. There was, deep inside, a young girl who feared she was to blame, or that other people would think so.

  Gabe stood and came to her. “That took a lot of courage, Siddah.”

  “I didn’t feel brave,” she admitted. “I just felt scared and alone.”

  “And that’s when you met Peter?”

  She nodded slowly. “He came to Great Falls on business. I’d managed to get a job in a restaurant, and he stopped in there for lunch. The rest is history, I guess. I was scared to death of him at first, but you know Peter. It didn’t take long for him to convince me he was a different kind of man than the others I’d known.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “So am I.” The sadness threatened to envelop her again, but she didn’t want to feel sad tonight. For the first time in months, the burdens she’d been carrying felt manageable. Just having someone to talk to helped more than she could ever have imagined. Shaking off the melancholy, she tried to lighten the mood. “In the beginning, I thought Peter and I would have several more children together, but maybe it’s for the best that we didn’t. I don’t know how we’d survive if I had more mouths to feed.”

  “Was that by choice?”

  She shook her head. “No. We wanted a big family, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I’ve wondered if something happened when Bobby was born. I was so young, and he was a big baby.” A little embarrassed by how much she’d shared, she steered the conversation back on topic. “Anyway, you can see why I’m in no rush to ask Bobby’s biological father for help. And it leaves me in my current predicament—taking advantage of you.”

  Gabe took her hand in his. “Why do you think that accepting help is taking advantage?”

  “Isn’t that what I’m doing? You’re here with Bobby all afternoon and evening. You’re seeing to his homework, making sure he has supper most of the time—even taking care of me. That’s far more than you bargained for.”

  “Have you heard me complain?”

  No. Never. And that, along with so many other things, w
as making her feelings dangerously complicated. “Not yet.”

  “But you’re certain I will.”

  “Not one-hundred percent, but it seems likely.”

  “What would you say if I told you I was enjoying this?”

  She laughed and tried to look away. “I’d say that sooner or later the novelty is bound to wear off and you’ll start asking yourself what the hell you’re doing.”

  “I suppose that could happen,” he conceded, “but what if it doesn’t?”

  “You’ll probably be more surprised than I am.” His eyes were too deep, his voice too warm. He was close enough to smell his soap and see a tiny scar on his chin, another below his ear. Everything suddenly felt too close and far too intimate and, worse, she felt the desperate, urgent desire to feel his arms around her and his lips on hers.

  He must have sensed something, because his expression changed in that moment. The kindness was still there, but something new joined it. Something Siddah recognized and, God help her, welcomed.

  With his eyes locked on hers, he took a step closer and Siddah’s breath caught. “I’m not Cornell Beesley either,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

  Delicious, heady, wonderful, frightening desire licked at her. She didn’t want to feel it…or did she? Her head swam and the exhaustion that had been almost painful a few minutes earlier evaporated. All at once, she felt energized and alive, but that was probably only because it had been so long since she’d felt like this.

  Gabe’s eyes darkened with longing and Siddah gave up arguing with herself. Slowly, slowly, he moved closer, put both hands on her shoulders and pulled her toward him. She went to him with an eagerness that embarrassed her, and when his lips finally grazed hers, longing exploded inside of her.

  Somewhere in the dim recesses of her mind, a warning sounded. She shouldn’t do this. But for the life of her, she didn’t know why.

  His lips were soft and warm, and he tasted faintly of cola and barbecue sauce. When he realized she wasn’t going to fight him, he slid his arms around her with a tenderness that both surprised and touched her.